Breaking Free from Black and White Thinking: Finding Balance
Breaking Free from Black-and-White Thinking: The 3 R’s to Transform Your Life.
Most people don’t realize how much their all-or-nothing thinking is holding them back. This rigid mindset—where things are either all good or all bad—can distort how we see the world, make us feel stuck, and damage our relationships. But what if there was a way to break free and create more balance in your life? I want to show you how to do just that, using a simple but powerful method: The 3 R’s—Recognize, Retreat, and Revisit.
What Is Black-and-White Thinking?
Black-and-white thinking is when we see everything in absolutes. You might think, “I’m a complete failure,” or, “This is the worst thing that could ever happen.” This way of thinking often creates stress and anxiety, making you feel overwhelmed by small mistakes or problems.
Black-and-white thinking is when we see everything in absolutes. You might think, “I’m a complete failure,” or, “This is the worst thing that could ever happen.” This way of thinking often creates stress and anxiety, making you feel overwhelmed by small mistakes or problems.
Here’s the thing: this mindset protects us from uncomfortable emotions like disappointment or uncertainty. It makes you feel powerless, which might seem comforting because then you don’t have to take action.
Why We Do It (and Why It’s Hurting Us)
We exaggerate to feel justified. Maybe your partner “never” helps around the house, or your boss is “always” the worst. While this feels like an emotional release, it keeps you from addressing the actual issues and keeps you stuck.
In reality, this all-or-nothing mindset just keeps you trapped in a cycle of frustration, self-pity, and inaction.
The Path to Change: The 3 R’s
Here’s how you can break this cycle by using the 3 R’s:
Recognize
Catch yourself using extreme language like “always,” “never,” or “the worst.” Pay attention to how your body reacts when you think in absolutes. Do you feel tense? Does your heart race? That’s a sign your nervous system is in overdrive, and it’s time to pause.- Retreat
Step back and create some space to calm your nervous system. Whether through deep breathing or somatic exercises (which you can learn more about in my video – “Transform Your Life With Somatic Exercises”), retreating helps you gain a fresh perspective and distance from the immediate stress. - Revisit
Once you’ve calmed down, revisit the situation with a clearer, more balanced mindset. You’ll find that when you’re less reactive, you can see the bigger picture—and often, things aren’t as extreme as they first seemed.
My Personal Story: A Shift in Perspective
I used to live in a constant state of black-and-white thinking. It was exhausting. But once I started focusing on small successes, no matter how minor, I found joy in everyday moments. Something as simple as enjoying a walk to the synagogue became a turning point. It’s all about shifting perspective and finding those “microscopic successes.”
Ready to Start Your Transformation?
You have the power to step out of the all-or-nothing mindset and start living more freely. If you’re interested in learning more about how to regulate your nervous system and move past black-and-white thinking, check out my full video where I break down **The 3 R’s** in detail. It’s a game-changer!
Click here to watch the full video and transform your life
Let’s Hear Your Thoughts
Have you struggled with black-and-white thinking? Drop a comment below and share your experience—I’d love to hear from you!