Clear Mind Coach

They say that there are a few things guaranteed in life; Death and Taxes. But they didn’t warn me about the rain damage! Our residence suffered a lot of rain damage together with the other people in our surrounding neighborhood.

Musical Chairs with beds and furniture!
The insurance has come through and we are in the process of getting our place repaired. Sounds great, doesn’t it. But if you look at the picture, our lounge room is not in the greatest of shape as we play musical chairs of furniture and beds being moved around while different parts of our place are in the process of being re-painted and repaired from the rain damage.

Do I have to think Positive?
In the old days before learning the principles behind a clear mind, I would have been beside myself in this situation. But today, I just know that we all live in the feeling of our thinking and I can’t change what is going on out there but I certainly can be aware of the ‘movie experience’ that I am watching via my thought. A lot of my clients ask me, “does that mean I have to think positive?” And the answer is always a resounding NO!

This is not about thought control. It may work sometimes, however, very often on serious issues or at least I perceive them as being serious, I just make the situation worse by getting embroiled in a fight with my mind and end up more stressed than before.

The Million Dollar question
So what should you DO? The answer may be counter-intuitive and frustrating at times but I’m going to tell you anyway – Nothing. Sorry if that lets you down. A lot of people are looking for a bunch of steps to follow to get to more peace and wellbeing but it usually doesn’t work that way. And it certainly didn’t  work for me.

What did work?
So, what really did make it a game changer towards happiness for me was understanding the inside-out nature of life as opposed to the outside-in illusion that we all fall into from time to time. Inside-out is just saying that we understand that our experience/feelings are coming from within the system of how life works. And how life works is that we experience our life is from thought in the moment and not from things ‘out there.’

Outside-in is where we mistakenly think our experience is coming from something out there. In my case, it looks like all the house being topsy turvy could stress me. But I’m happy to say that it isn’t the case. This is because my interpretation of what is going on is 100% my choice always based on what I’m thinking in the present moment.

Separate Realities
Shainy my wife, on the other hand, doesn’t understand the principles behind a clear and calm mind and that is fine because we all live in our own separate reality based on what each of us thinks in the moment. My happiness is not contingent on having her understand what I understand. Maybe one day she will but that is not up to me. I can’t control what anyone thinks, certainly not my wonderful wife of 26 years.

Happily hanging out with people who don’t think like you
I don’t need to be with someone who thinks the same as me. So, you can very comfortably hang out with people who don’t share the same ideas as you because they don’t need to be exactly like you to happily hang out with you. You can hang out with people who have very different opinions and interests to you. We don’t have to get people to think like us. They can be beautifully unique just as they are without our judgments of them. Way back I would have an enormous amount of judgment of people who just didn’t think like me. I used to think that there was something wrong with them or possibly myself because they didn’t see it my way, but not anymore.

Shainy however, is stressed and that is fine given the thinking she has at the moment. This happens because she is objectifying her feelings on the mess and perceived stress at having everything in the house being moved around as we wait for the tiling, carpets, and painting to be finished together with our leaky roof. At this point in time, she can’t see that it is her thinking about the mess rather than the mess itself that is the source of her stress.

Same situation and living circumstances but two totally different experiences.
What I really find interesting is that even though it is uncomfortable navigating through the mess, I am okay with the mess and disarray we are temporarily living in, while she is going out of her mind from it. Same situation and living circumstances but two totally different experiences. And I find her getting upset over the smallest of things during this time because of the external mess we are currently in. Workers are coming in and out and it is an intrusion of our privacy together with all the drilling, and other noise disturbances. Even the neighbors are complaining about all the noise the workers are making.

But amazingly enough, I am fine with it, even though it is happening. It is not always pleasant to have these disturbances but I find that I’m experiencing them without the commentary of my mind intruding on the experience as I am more present with what is, rather that the stories that I could be inventing of what it could be or should be. I have assured Shainy that the builders will complete their work and it will all come to an end. I don’t know if that helps her very much but that is the reality of the way I currently see it.

The thought storm will eventually pass, it always does
There will be always a time when things get turned upside down and your experience of it is totally yours without the extra stories and self-righteousness of what you think ‘should’ and ‘could’ be if you choose to recognize that you are temporarily caught in a ‘thought-storm’ which will always pass.

Watch the video below to further consolidate this.

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